My wife and I live with fear on a daily basis, as I've mentioned before she has systemic stage four breast cancer that has metastasized to her brain and lungs. So every day we give thanks for each passed minute she has "good health" and we plan for fun and adventure as much as are able. She has suffered what are called Jacksonian Seizures as a result of pressure to her brain from the many tumors there so any time unusual muscle twitching, head aches, or severe anxiety occur our collective blood pressure rises and fear begins to muscle its way in to our lives...
Uusually every day or so, we have our moments of panic (to which I am apparently well adapted to) but otherwise we are such old hands at this that the day to day life we live is otherwise rich and rewarding. Today was a test of our mettle as Katie had to go to the ER. It turned out to be a very long day, 9 hours at the hospital ended with bad news. I wont go into details or specifics, we are still learning what everything means. We have more hardships to hurdle apparently, we are pushed everyday yet still we find time to sing a song, make a joke and count our blessings.
If you are reading this, I mentioned I wouldn't use this blog to complain about how hard things are so know it's not my intention with this entry. This entry is to tell everyone, there is always light, there is always hope, there is always a reason (no matter how hard it might be to find it) to keep on smiling.
My wife and I smile every day even though we have real and reasonable fear; death, pain, stress and loss are just a part of the whole experience even if they seem like the whole. Be realistic, look at everything and don't focus on parts to the detriment of life!
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